I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
