her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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