so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
