at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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