Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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