Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
