last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
