Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize