rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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