yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
3 2 1 whiskey
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
