Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
