You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
