just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
