please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
