Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize