I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
