Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
