If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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