The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
