I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
