I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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