I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
