nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize