Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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