You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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