I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
