So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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