I CAN MOONWALK!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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