He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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