I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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