Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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