i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
