All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
