Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize