Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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