Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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