ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
