he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
