We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize