I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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