Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
