It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
