Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ugly people sure do ruin things
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
