Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My balls are so social today.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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