I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
