Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
