look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
