She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
