you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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