He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
