Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
