Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
