Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
