Pappa wants mamma naked
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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