So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
