She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
