dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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