My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
