I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
