I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
