this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
