He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize