So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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