non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize