He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
