just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
