i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
