Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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