Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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