and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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