Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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