i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
