this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
